Solutions: Looking Backwards

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About 20 years ago I attended a national conference where I saw something that changed my perspective on how I approached problems.

In the cavernous reception area where people gathered for conversation, coffee, and consumption of edibles, a strategically placed counter was set up. This well-staffed area was dedicated to providing resolutions for the various problems the conference attendees encountered.

What captured my attention was the sign over the counter. It didn't read "Registration Problems" or "Conference Questions", but rather "Solutions".

Often we approach situations with a perspective that's driven with a needs-based perspective rather than results-based. We tend to view things through the problem rather than through the solution.

Here are some ideas to help us become solution-driven:

• Focus - Don't look at the problem, but rather envision the solution, and then look backwards to determine how to get there. Instead of saying "We don't have any money for a vacation", decide where you'd like to do on your vacation, and then look back at the steps that will be needed to get there (planning a budget, saving money, looking for "deals").
• Response - Don't give knee-jerk reactions to problems, but rather have a vision for how you would like to see the situation, and methodically take steps to get there. Most knee-jerk reactions may provide a temporary fix, but ultimately compound the problem in the future.
• Resource -  Give energy, staffing, and resources to the vision, rather than to the need. Resourcing the need only keeps pace with the current situation. Resourcing the the vision puts you in a position to successfully counter problems when they arise.

Perspective goes a long way toward creating success. Being vision-driven always brings a more productive and longer-lasting solution than being needs-driven.

Question: What are your thoughts on providing solutions to problems? Share your thoughts below in comments.

 

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Hoarders

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Within a few minutes yesterday I read comments from two different, unrelated  people who essentially said the same thing: I'm a hoarder. One spoke of collecting more stuff, the other one spoke of the difficulty of cleaning out their garage and getting rid of their stuff.

Hoarding. It's defined as a disorder. It's a common occurrence. It's spring cleaning and a garage sale. It's a couple of TV shows. It's about accumulating stuff.

But this Blog post is not about accumulating stuff. It's about the hoarding thoughts and words, of keeping to ourselves that which will benefit others.

I am not referring to sharing our opinions (there is no hoarding of that in our social-media-rich culture - see more thoughts on that here). But rather the hoarding of thoughts and words that produce a positive affect in the lives of others.

If we're honest, we are guilty of hoarding:

• Compliments - Often we are quick to criticize, but slow to compliment. Be liberal with your praise. Don't wait for something big before you offer congratulations. Recognize the little things done well and people will begin to do the big things well. Hoarding compliments restrains others.
• Encouragements - Different from compliments, encourage toward the future: what can be done rather than what has been done. Believe with others in their dreams. Speak positively about their goals. Say you can, instead of you can't. Hoarding encouragements hinders others.
• Ideas - Sometimes we are afraid that if we share our ideas, others will take them and make them their own... and benefit from them. What greater complement can there be to us if someone else succeeds with our idea. Hoarding ideas excludes others.

So go ahead and get rid of some of your complements. Carry out a stack of encouragements and give them away. Have an idea garage sale, but don't charge anything. No more hoarding!

Question: What are some thoughts you have for giving away compliments, encouragements, and ideas? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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Passionate About Something

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(This is a re-post of Blog I wrote a few years ago. I felt passionate about it then, and I feel the same way now.)

In Lewis B. Smedes book "A Pretty Good Person," Smedes recounts a story of a man named Fopke.

Fopke was decidedly un-passionate. In fact, he was convinced that the entire village he lived in "despised him and thought he was a ridiculous person" because of his glum and simple existence.

He decided that by himself, he would prove after all that he was a superior person, a person to be reckoned with, a person of great power of will and courage of heart.

He purchased a cheap pistol and loaded it with a single bullet. Thinking he would look more gallant in the eyes of his fellow villagers, he also got a bottle of Dutch Scotch with plans to drink a glass and then shoot himself. With his loaded pistol before him, he proceeded to pour himself a glass and drink it, but then fell asleep.

While sleeping he dreamed that he went to a far away land where the people were kind, trusting and respectful, not only to him but also to each other. Inquiring about this “goodness”, Fopke found that the people only understood concepts of good and virtue, but had no frame of reference of bad and evil. So he told them about evil and how men acted towards one another.

The people were intrigued by these stories and soon they only talked about the good vs. evil concept that Fopke introduced. Soon people began to “try” evil and unkind things like lying, stealing and hurting others. Fopke was deeply disturbed that he had introduced evil ideas to this good and kind people and tried to stop it. But it was too late.

Fopke awoke with a different perspective, a new vision. He determined that he would seek to be good in everything he did. He purposed to quietly be friendly, to do kind deeds and to share goodness everywhere he went.

Noticing the change that came over Fopke, the people of his village asked him to teach them how he became a good person. He responded by saying, “I cannot talk about it. And please do not call me good. Only God is good. I am only on the Way.”

On his grave stone standing atop a modest grave on the coast of the North Sea are inscribed these words, “Fopke fen Faken, Alles meirekkene, in ridlik geode minske." Which, translated means: All things considered, a pretty good person.

Question: What dreams do you have that impassion your life? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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The Dropbox

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This morning as I drove my normal route to my job, I passed a business that specialized in clothing alterations. I pass it every day, but today I noticed something I hadn't seen before: A Dropbox. Someone was placing something (an article of clothing I surmised) through the Dropbox door. I also noticed a sign I had not observed before: 24 Hour Dropbox.

The Dropbox. They have been around it seems forever: the mailbox, the Redbox, the key drop, the ATM, the book drop.

We place things inside, certain that what we placed inside will be safe and available for retrieval by trusted parties.

In the world of cloud computing we have available many options of "dropboxes". Justcloud, Mozy, Carbonite, iCloud, and of course Dropbox to name a few. (This post is not a review of the top 10 online storage services.)

I use a couple of these services. I am glad I do: Because of a user error (me) on my iMac Time Machine, I failed to backup some of my important files. Fortunately I had been a little too redundant and had them available in my Dropbox.

What is my point in all of this for us? Simply this: You and I have a Dropbox. Some call it the mind, others call it the soul. Whatever label we give it, we put things (ideas, thoughts, lessons, truths, etc.) inside and either expect to retrieve them later, or they surface without our search.

Our Dropbox is without a doubt a valuable asset in our lives. But we need to take advantage of it.

Here are some tips on using our Dropbox:

-We need to be proactive and put things inside our Dropbox. Learn, read, listen, engage. Nothing will be there for later retrieval if we don't put something inside.

-We need to be selective about what we put inside our Dropbox. Choose positive, productive, and beneficial things to put inside.

-We need to retrieve what is inside our Dropbox. If it is there, use it, learn from it, build on it, create from it.

Some parting thoughts from a wise man: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23)

Question: What have you found to be important about the Dropbox that you have? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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Listen To This:

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One of my favorite Charlie Brown lessons is where adults speak to various members of the "Peanuts Gang" and although words are being spoken by the adults, the kids hear this: "Wa-wah, wah-wa-wa-wah, wah-wa-wa-wah."

Communication yes, but effective communication?

Communication is not just about public speaking. It's about motivation, teaching, encouraging, and discipline; to spouses, children, parents, friends, collogues, teammates, employees, students, and bosses.

I believe that effective communication involves four key factors: The right word, at the right time, to the right audience, for the right reason. If we master these, we will be heard.

• The right Word - I am sometimes intrigued by communicators who simply let words fly without considering how effective those words are. I know of a world-renowned pastor who is so driven to effective communication that he once spent the entire flight time between London and Chicago choosing the three best words for the title of his Sunday teaching.
• The right Time - Have you ever been discouraged by good words delivered at the wrong time? You hit a home run and your coach tells you to extend your arms more. You have an auto accident and your parents ask you if you were texting while driving. Good words, but don't expect to remember what was said.
• The right Audience - It is important to consider the who as much as the what in effective communication. Is what you are communicating truly something that will benefit those with whom you are communicating? How are they hearing you? If you have the attention of the audience (whether it be one person or a thousand), craft your content in such a way as to be heard and received.
• The right Reason - Some people communicate because they have a reason to. They desire to enhance, encourage, and influence those they communicate with. Others simply like to hear themselves talk (bosses, parents, Facebook posters). As a youth pastor, I would cringe when a parent would make statements like this to their teen in my presence, "I wish my son would keep his room clean." I promise you, the kid did not leave that encounter with a burning desire to clean his room.

Communication is an art:

• Choose the words and language that paint the most relatable picture.
• Choose the time and setting for the most remembered counsel.
• Choose the subject and content for the most receivable input.
• Choose the purpose and motivation for the most redeemable outcome.

Question: What have you found to be effective keys to communication? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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Fulfilling A Dream

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A friend of mine from England, Nathean Meadows (the Executive Director of Camp Sonshine), posted this in his Facebook status last evening:

I think I've gone a little loopy but I'm fulfilling a dream tonight and running a Half-marathon (13.1 miles). When you see my running app posted please cheer me on; I'll need all the help I can get!!! Hopefully I'll be alive in the morning!!

Fulfilling a dream. This is perhaps the most personally rewarding activity a person can give themselves to. Much more than accumulating wealth or gaining fame, fulfilling a dream finds its roots inside our innermost being, where the deepest desires of our hearts live.

Dreams inspire us, motivate us, and capture our imaginations. A person who has stopped dreaming has stopped living.

May I offer two thoughts on fulfilling a dream:

• Dream. Many people have stopped dreaming. Some because of discouragement from previous unfulfilled dreams, others because of a mundane existence. We all need to have dreams, and we need to be working towards fulfilling those dreams. So dream!
• Dream bigger than yourself. Make your dreams about causes and beliefs that are greater than you. Dream dreams that will outlive you, that will continue to be fulfilled even after you are gone. Let your dreams be so big that you need God to help you fulfill them!

I know Nathean well. He is one of the most selfless, caring, humble people I have ever met. I can confidently say that running a Half-marathon for him is not simply about accomplishing a task, adding to his "brag-book", or checking off his bucket list. Rather, he will use (and perhaps has already used) this experience to invest in and benefit the lives of others.

By the way, Nathean is alive and well this morning (see the last line of his post above). But even if he hadn't survived, his dreams and investment in others would continue long after the 13th mile mark...

Question: How can your dreams be bigger than you? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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"Like" It Or "Live" It?

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As a Facebook subscriber, I often read other's status updates where a catchy slogan or statement is copied into their status from someone else and the final words are 'Like' if you agree. or 'Share' in your status if you agree. (Sometimes it separates the 'sharers' as the 3% who really believe the statement.)

 

Some statements are related to social causes, some to political ideologies, some to family members, while others are about faith.

It is an interesting phenomenon how we use social media to promote causes and people. If we agree, we 'like' or 'share'. But do we 'live' it or just 'like' it?

Interestingly, we have evolved into a people who vicariously live our lives through others. The most popular shows are reality based. Role-playing games (RPGs) continue to flood the market. The super-hero movie genre is as popular as ever.

We have found that it is much easier to watch, imagine, or click than to 'live'.

May I challenge us with a thought: If you believe in something, immerse yourself fully in it.

• If you say you love your spouse in your Facebook status, then do something right then that demonstrates your love (besides a public status update).
• If you say you support a cause in your Facebook status, then do something tangible that supports the cause (besides a public status update).
• If there's "a place on our wall for Jesus", then let's make sure we keep Him on our wall when someone pulls out in front of us.

'Like' if you agree with this Blog post.

Question? Have you found yourself where you 'like' something, but you don't really 'live' it? Share your thoughts below in comments.

 

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Merging

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The first time I visited Chattanooga, TN when I was pursuing the girl who would become my Bride, I remember a traffic phenomenon that has stayed with me: Merging.

A major thoroughfare narrowed from four lanes to two, so the traffic could cross over a large bridge. The drivers would slow a bit, and with uninterrupted flow they would alternately form a single lane of traffic. Left, right, left, right... And they would cross the bridge with little time lost.

My previous experience with merging traffic, whether by observation or participation, involved stopping, rushing, squeezing-in, waiting, honking, and general frustration.

But the people at the bridge in Chattanooga did it seamlessly. Every time. Even years later, I saw the same traffic pattern, the same easy merge. My guess was they had been doing it that way for many years before I experienced it.

Why were they so successful at it? I surmised that these were the same drivers who crossed this bridge every day: factory workers, students, shift-workers, commuters. All following the same route, every day, for years. Learning from those who already knew how. Teaching those who began to drive the route. Keeping in mind the ultimate goal: Crossing the bridge safely, and as quickly as possible.

They had learned that merging, when done with deference, created a win-win situation for everybody.

Merging. When it's your turn, you go. When it's my turn, I'll go. Then the next person. Then the next. And so on... Each of us is just as important as the one before, and the one after.

Consider how proper merging can affect other relationships:

• On a sports team - Each player has a role. When executed appropriately, the team functions properly. Result: Games are won.
• On a team at work - All ideas are valued, the organization's mission and values are kept in mind. Result: Success is realized.
• Among musicians - All the players/singers contribute their part. Each element contributes something that the others can't. Result: A beautiful sound.
• In a marriage - Both husband and wife bring valuable input and perspective to a situation. Both partners are valued. Result: Harmony is achieved.

Merging. It's not about me. It's about us.

Question: How good are you at Merging? Share your thoughts below in comments.

 

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3 Types Of Dreamers

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I am no expert on Dreams, but I have them. I am no expert on Dreamers, but I am one.

I have found that there are basically three types of Dreamers: Those who dream of a better past, those who dream of a better present, and those who dream of a better future.

Those who dream of a better past are stuck there, wishing for younger days. They use phrases like: I remember when..., When *this person* was here..., and If we could go back to...

There is nothing wrong with being nostalgic. We can learn much from the past. But living in the past is unhealthy. We will never move forward, we will never accomplish much.

Those who dream of a better present are in my opinion living in a fantasy world. They are seeking to escape the reality called life, and replace it with an unachievable illusion. I wish... begins many of their thoughts. (I wish my house could get a makeover. I wish I would win the lottery. I wish I didn't have to go to work today.)

Don't get me wrong. I am a man of faith. I believe in asking God to change the present reality to fit His purpose. (Lord, heal this man. Lord, provide food.) But I am careful to not be driven by my selfish desires. (Lord, make me rich. Lord, get me bumped up to first-class.)

Those who dream of a better future have the best chance of seeing their dreams fulfilled. They can do things now that shape their outcome.

Dreaming of an exotic vacation? Start saving now. Dreaming of running a marathon? Start with running a mile. Dreaming of owning your own business? Start working on it in your spare time. Dreaming of seeing your children be successful? Begin instilling values into them when they are young.

Future dreams fulfilled are the result of present consistent choices.

Question: What type of dreamer are you? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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I Love My DVR

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Just the other evening I was remarking to my wife the merits of the DVR: To be able to digitally record a television program with the press of a button and have it available for later viewing without the hassle of blank DVDs, videotape (who remembers that experience?), or summer re-runs. And to be able to skip commercials... almost too good to be true!

My wife and I don't have a lot of time to watch TV, but there are a couple of shows that we enjoy together. So we digitally record them with our cable set-top box, and when we can spare a few minutes, we replay the recorded shows. (At last count we have about 50 hours of catching up to do - we may never catch up!)

Some call it TiVo (just like some call a small adhesive bandage a Band-aid: it's a brand name). Some just call it recording a show. Whatever you may call it, my guess is you love it.

Launched to the public in 1999, the Digital Video Recorder offers features such as time-shifting, pausing live TV, instant replay, and dual tuners. Pretty much anything a viewer could ask for is packed into a typical DVR set-top box.

Advertisers don't like the DVR. Viewers can simply race through commercials with a click of the fast-forward button and then get back to the program. (I have become quite adept at moving through a three-minute segment of commercials in about 15 seconds, and then slowing to normal speed just as the program resumes.)

I have written all of the above to ask this question: Has life become like a DVR?

• Do we put off enjoying life until later when we hope to have more time to enjoy it (not appreciating what is happening around us until the weekend or our vacation)?
• Do we "press a button" and push aside the "now" so we might have a "later" (not spending time with our children so we can make more money)?
• Do we skip through the "commercials" in our life thinking they are not valuable (not listening to the people seeking to engage us in conversation)?
• Do we try to replay over and over again the good experiences hoping to forget the bad ones (bragging about our accomplishments while not admitting our mistakes)?

What if we had to live life only as it unfolded, without any promise of the future, without any replay?

You know, I believe that is the way life was meant to be lived: In real-time.

Question: How is your life like a DVR set-top box? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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Is Posting Negative Comments Gossip?

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We've all read them: The service at this restaurant is terrible. This guy in front of me just blew through a red light and cut in front of another car at Starbucks.

Maybe you've posted a similar comment or a tweet: I can't believe that __________ made it to through two rounds with that voice.

Freely we comment, freely we speak. After all, we're given this right: It says so in the First Amendment.

But...

Does the impersonalization of our spectator culture free us to make derogatory comments we wouldn't dare disclose to a person's face?

Are we justified in our impersonal responses because we are far enough removed from the recipients of those comments?

At what point do we get permission to publicly express our opinion about someone or something (speak our mind)?

And then what about the damage we do by leveraging our platform just so we can express our opinion (be heard)?

Isn't this another name for gossip? (Before you respond, think through how you define gossip.)

Are we doing justice to those we speak negatively about by feeling (and fulfilling) the need to express our opinion?

• Is this simply a form of entitlement: I have the right to express my opinion.
• Is this simply a form of selfishness: I didn't get what I wanted, so I'm going to whine about it publicly.
• Is this simply a form of pride: I didn't like it, so there.

(Common denominator: "I")

If I remember my Bible correctly, I believe it says: If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. (Matthew 18:15)

Hmmmm: Not a lot of room for comments, tweets, or feedback.

Question: Do you think public comments are a form of gossip? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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