Opening A Window

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I have learned that it is good to give people a window to see inside of our lives, especially if we are leaders (and I believe that all of us are leaders, because all of us influence somebody).

Allowing others to see inside our window makes us a bit more transparent, a bit more relatable, a bit more human.

We all have struggles and seasons of our lives where we are faced with pressures, situations and relationships that stretch us beyond normalcy. If we constantly portray ourselves as living a no-struggle life, we risk alienating ourselves from those we lead by depicting an idyllic, unreal life. If we consistently portray our ourselves as Ironman, easily pressing through difficulties, then we become super-human and unapproachable.

So allow me to open a window and let you to see inside of my life for a moment.

In the last 8 months my family and I have experienced much transition:

• My professional life has transitioned: I am seeking to be the best I can be at my day job in the insurance industry (which until April 5th I had no exposure to, except from the client side). A HUGE learning curve.
• My financial life has transitioned: We went from saving a bit and contributing extra to mission work, to having to dip into our savings a little each month to pay our bills as I progress in the above-mentioned professional life.
• My ministry life has transitioned: I left from being a senior leader on a team of 13 pastors of a large regional church, and am now partnering with a good pastor friend leading a small ministry that is undergoing a huge makeover.
• My family life has transitioned: In the last 8 months we relocated 1150 miles away from where we lived for 10 years, both of our children who lived with us have moved out on their own, and my wife (a life anchor - see below) and I just celebrated 35 years of marriage.
• My personal life has transitioned: I am having to alter my "schedule" and run in the evenings, I have to squeeze reading and mentoring into 45-minute lunches, my musical practice times are short and few, and I rely on my iPhone apps to capture ideas so I can give them attention at a later time.
• My Spiritual life has remained consistent: I understand the value of life anchors, so I have make it a priority to keep my time in prayer, Bible study, and personal renewal consistent.

What is happening in my life: Transition. How am I dealing with it: Relying on my life anchors, adjusting to the circumstances, and valuing relationships.

Question: How do you deal with transition in your life? Share your thoughts below in comments.

Constantly Changing

There is a saying attributed to Benjamin Franklin that goes: The only sure thing are death and taxes.

Although that may be good folk wisdom, we know that there are some people mentioned in the Bible who escaped death and were simply translated into heaven, and and there are many who successfully evade taxes.

Things that we've always held as constant are changing. Who would have thought that America would be on the verge of not being the #1 economic power in the world? When you woke up this morning did you imagine that the Washington, DC area would feel its second earthquake in 13 months?

Some have said that the only constant is change. There are two types of people who excel in change: artists and leaders.

True artists (including musicians and writers) go with the flow, capture the moment, and create masterpieces. Those who don't stick with paint-by-number kits.

True leaders work with people: individual, unpredictable, uncommon. Those who don't are simply task managers.

When change comes into your life, allow me to encourage you to rise up, see opportunity, and create a masterpiece. Sing your song, influence people, make your mark.

Question: When has change allowed you to be be better? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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Happy Anniversary

This week my bride and I celebrate 35 years of marriage. I am a fortunate man, that my Creator set aside this wonderful woman as a gift for me.

Thirty-five years is a long time for anything. Longevity is a quality that is not-so-common in our culture. The years may not have been perfect, but they have been great.

Over these years, here are a few things that I have learned:

• Being right is too overrated. If I can remove my pride and seek a solution or resolution over a 'win', then we both are right.
• Listening is much more than hearing. So often I would hear my wife, but I wouldn't listen to what she was telling me.
• Solving the problem is not as important as feeling the pain. Sure a solution may be necessary at some point, but understanding and empathizing with my wife is what she may need right then.
• Allowing my wife to take care of me is one of her greatest desires. Being an I've got it covered, I'll take care of it type of person robs my wife of the joy of meeting my needs and helping me succeed.
• Being a team is our destiny together. When we sing together, the harmony created is beautiful. When we live and serve together, the harmony is glorious!

Five years ago I wrote the following post on this Blog. Today I feel the same way, only more. Allow me to share it again as a conclusion.

Milestones. Landmarks. Waypoints. These are all significant events in our lives that not only separate our lives into periods, but also act as defining moments for us. We celebrate birthdays, rites of passage (first kiss, driver's license) and achievements. We can remember our high school graduations and our first dates. If we are married, we can remember our wedding day.

When we are younger, milestones act more as separations in our lives. They let ourselves and others see us as "before" and "after". We reference milestones as points of change.

Thirty years ago today, I took Elaine Odom as my wife. I remember beginning to cry as she appeared in the doorway, escorted by her brother, waiting to come down the aisle where I stood. I remember how she smiled when we held each other’s hands and recited our vows. I remember our kiss, her first as my bride.

Thirty years ago today, I reached a milestone in my life. I got married. Today is another milestone, as Elaine and I celebrate thirty years of marriage. My life is not so much separated by this day as it is defined by it.

Question: What are some things you have learned in your marriage? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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The Truth About 'Fail'

Fail.

I really dislike that word. It's comes across as demeaning, minimizing, and humiliating. And is reeks of finality. Fail.

Our culture has made fail a popular word to use when someone might object to something, when a mistake is made, or when a person doesn't measure up.

Videos are uploaded on YouTube, pictures are emailed, laughter erupts.

But think about this for a minute: How do you think it might be affecting the receivers of this judgement? Are we so flawless that we have the right to attach this label on others?

And consider the impact we have when we use our relationships and our social media platforms to convey the message fail. Is this a productive way to leverage our influence?

 

About two years ago, I began to follow a respected national leader on Twitter (he has over 120,000 followers). I don't know this leader personally, but began to follow his tweets because I felt that he could contribute to my life, and make me a better leader.

A few months after I began to follow him, he tweeted that the service at a restaurant where he was eating was awful. He stated: My server is terrible! and then added the hashtag: #fail.

 

Well, I felt compelled to challenge him (privately of course). I messaged him that I felt his description of the server was unfair and way too negative to be coming from a leader of his caliber (or from anyone for that matter). He responded that I was right, and removed his tweet.

 That leader I follow: Not fail, just a mistake. There is a difference.

If you like this post, please re-post, put it on your Facebook status, or forward it to your friends. Follow me on Twitter @bigcloudmusic if you find me interesting. Subscribe to this Blog if you'd like. 

My Best Investment Pick

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We are living in a volatile financial environment. Debt ceilings and tax increases are affecting credit ratings and investment risks. And that's just the Federal Government.

We are concerned about our own financial positions, our net worth, our retirement portfolios. Will I have enough money to send my kids to college? Will I be able to retire soon? What about that long needed vacation I promised my family?

It's questions like these that cause worry and concern in the average person. But what about the real average person?

The real average person isn't concerned about his stock portfolio, but rather if his family will eat today. The real average person isn't thinking about his daughter's college, but instead he's thinking about her lack of medical care. The real average person doesn't take a vacation, but rather works every week for less than $2 a day.

Why do I call that person average? Because a full two-thirds of the world's population is just like that person. And with that many numbers defining a group, they quickly become the average.

So what' my Best Investment Pick? Pour yourself into the lives of those average people who are barely getting by. How?

• Invest Money: Do you really need to spend $25 every time you eat out on a restaurant meal, when that same $25 will feed a family of four for a month?
• Invest Time: Visit the sick in a hospital and speak words of encouragement and faith. Mentor a younger, disadvantaged person in what you do.
• Invest Focus: Think in terms of changing your culture, rather than protecting your stuff.

I am trying to make this type of thinking my lifestyle. Join me?

Question: What can you do now that changes your investment strategy? Share your thoughts below in comments.