Parallel Parking And Other Rites Of Passage

My daughter is about to get her driver's license. Remembering my driving test, hearing from others, and of course knowing first-hand my two son's experiences, parallel parking is many would-be drivers nemesis. And so we practice parallel parking.

A course is marked off, traffic cones are set-up, an hour of time blocked out. It must be done. It is inevitable. We have to learn how to parallel park. Frustrations set in, encouragement morphs into rebuke, and sometimes tears are shed.

Many equate getting one's driver's license as a rite of passage. And it is. But I want to offer that parallel parking is a rite of passage also, for it seems that outside of parallel parking, taking the driving test is easy. And so we practice parallel parking.

And isn't life the same way? We assign significant value to events not realizing that the real value comes from what we invest in to achieve or experience those events. Our first part-time job, graduation from high school, getting into the college of our choice, landing our first job after graduation. Even scuba diving or running a marathon. Each of these require work.

I offer that we do not lose sight of the value of preparation for the events we experience in our lives, but even suggest that we celebrate the journey as much as the destination. For the real value of our character being built and the skills we refine are more important than the reward we receive.

And so we practice parallel parking.

Too Old To Dream?

Too old to dream? Martin Luther King was 34 years old when he gave his famous I Have a Dream speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

Back in May, one of the most-viewed YouTube videos was Susan Boyle singing on Britain's Got Talent show. The unemployed 47 year-old woman dreams of being a professional singer.

In the 2008 Olympics, Hiroshi Hoketsu of Japan competed in an equestrian event. He was 67.

How old is too old to dream? John McCain was 72 years old when he was defeated in the 2008 presidential election

Jack Weil, the founder and CEO of Rockmount Ranch Wear in Denver, at an astonishing 104 years old, still goes into work every day.

In 2007, Nola Ochs, who began taking college classes more than 30 years ago, graduated with a degree in history from Fort Hays State University in Kansas.

You may be seventeen, twenty-seven or seventy, but you can still dream.

What is your dream?

Tetris On The Brain

Just as my second son was born, the video game Tetris hit the market for the old-school Nintendo game system. I can't remember if we received it as a gift or if my wife and I purchased it, but we owned it. I do remember my wife and I staying up very late many nights playing the game, justifying it by saying that our newborn son was going to wake us up anyway. I also justified it by saying that I was a Youth Pastor, and I needed to be culturally relevant to the students I was seeking to have an influence on (I was undefeated against my students for four years until I was beaten by a freshman girl!).

Yesterday my oldest son emailed me with a Wired.com news story stating scientific evidence that Tetris can alter the structure of the brain. I was intrigued and at the same time vindicated as I read the article. Intrigued because the information was enlightening to me, and vindicated because of all of those late-nights watching the relentless colored blocks fall made me smarter!

By the way, the study cited in the article was conducted on adolescent girls, but who cares!

When I was s senior in high school, my Youth Pastor shared with me the benefits of memorizing and meditating on the Word of God. One of the benefits he spoke of was the growth that takes place in ones mind, as stated in Psalm 119: 99 I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes. Imagine having more insight than all my teachers! That was motivation enough for me.

The result: I went from a 2.3 GPA my first semester of college to a 4.0 by my 5th semester and I never looked back. Why? Because I memorized and meditated on God's Word (Tetris hadn't come out yet).

My encouragement is this: Do things that stimulate your mind and make you better, smarter, and more creative, thus a better leader and influencer. Even if it means spending a few minutes each day playing a mind-altering game!

You Can't Miss This!

I saw a headline on MSN.com today that said, "Top Five Shows You Can't Miss", referring to this Fall's television lineup. Isn't it interesting that the words you can't miss carry such powerful meaning?

What will happen to me if I miss those shows? What if I catch only four? Will it be worse if I only watch two, or just one? Are the penalties compounded if I miss two weeks in a row? What if I have a good excuse for missing (funeral, being out of the country)?

I think you get the absurdity of my comments. But go back to those words: you can't miss. Think about them in other contexts.

If you are going to an important meeting on the west coast and your boss says, "You can't miss your flight or we lose the deal", then you better not miss your flight. If your daughter is getting married, and being stuck in traffic you call her on your cell phone and she says, "You can't miss my wedding," you had better find a way to get there.

If you are a soldier staring down the sight of your gun at your enemy, who is staring down the sight of his gun at you, you can't miss!

All of a sudden, I don't feel so pressed to watch the "Top Five Shows You Can't Miss." In fact, those TV shows seem pretty insignificant compared to my life and the things I am called to do, the relationships that I am called to invest in.

So the next time you are told you can't miss something, maybe it's worth missing for something greater.

Willet Band Coming To Immanuel's

This Sunday, August 23rd, brings the Willet Band to Immanuel's Church in Silver Spring, MD. They will be ministering in both our morning worship services, and also be doing a concert at 4:00 that afternoon. These guys are completely committed to the ministry of Food for the Hungry, an organization that feeds poor people around the world. Check out their video...

What Are You Aming At?

I heard someone once say that the best way to hit a bulls-eye is to shoot an arrow into a wall and then paint a target around it. Not very purposeful, but certainly accurate.

Many people go through their lives aimlessly, focusing on nothing in particular, and hitting it every time. They justify their actions by finding something purposeful in them, after the fact. Random actions, conversations and relationships, with certain random results.

Sure, sometimes they get lucky and do something with substance that matters. But most of the time their lives are about drifting wherever the current or wind takes them. When they look back over their lives, they are not able to see much substance, or anything of value that remains.

I was one of those random drifters, relying on my relationship with God and on the strength of my personality to get me by. But was there anything of substance that was left behind? Not much as far as I can see.

Now I seek to be a man of vision and purpose. Although I am not always on task, I am doing a lot better than I was several years ago. Now I want to have purpose in my life, to develop goals based on a God-given vision of my preferable future. I want to be involved in shaping my future, not having it shaped for me by circumstances. I want to be able to look back on my life, and realizing that I may not have hit the target every time, I still took careful aim for it.

So what are you aiming at?

Botox For Business

According to KGW.com, a Portland Oregon news station, "As the pressure to retain or land a new job increases, some job seekers are turning to a competitive-edge-in-a-needle, Botox."

Advocates report that looking younger boosts both first impressions and personal confidence in job interviews.

On June 5, Washington, DC-based aesthetics emporium Reveal offered a Botox Bailout — free Botox injections (a $300-500 value) for the first fifty people to show up with pink slip and resumé in hand. The party included headhunters who gave job-search tips and conducted interviews (ABCNews.go.com 6.5.09).

What does this mean? Beauty and grooming are making a slow shift from the indulgence category to competitive strategy. Crossing their t's and dotting their eye area with Botox assures Control Freaks they're putting their best face forward.

Most people would say that appearances don't matter, but when the chips are down, some consumers are placing their bets on pretty.

This weekend, our church is hosting an event featuring Employment Workshops, where job seekers can get resumé advice, interviewing tips, life coaching, and help with navigating job posting websites. Did we cover all the subjects or have we left out something that is staring us right in the face?

Advice if you need a job: Put on a clean outfit, update your resumé, cover your tats, and get a Botox injection!

The Best Time Of Day

I woke early this morning with an idea for a song I am recording, and after spending some time reading, I found myself in my studio recording a newly created guitar part. I didn't go to sleep last night planning on recording this morning. Rather, I woke up with a passion and creative energy that I seem to stumble upon in the mornings more often than I find within me at other times of the day.

What about you? When are you the most creative? What part of the day finds you dreaming, writing, singing and creating?

I suggest that if you don't know your optimum creative time, that you track your days and determine when you are at your productive and innovative best. This will help you schedule your imagination sessions and produce the best results.

What is my purpose in suggesting this? I believe that all of us, created in the image of the Creator, have been charged with contributing to this world, and especially to the lives of others. Our contributions, full of ideas, innovation and transformation demonstrate that we do carry the mark of the One who created us, and that we are part of the creative process of investing into the lives of others for their good and benefit.

Now to me that's good any time of the day!

Influencing Influencers

My oldest son Eric told me about an iPhone app called Flood-It! He knew I love a challenging game that would periodically stimulate my reasoning skills. Well, he was right! I have enjoyed the game.

The object is to change the color of the squares on the screen to all one color. This can only be achieved by beginning with the top left corner, choosing a color to change the squares that touch the square or squares you have changed. It must be completed in 22 moves or you lose the game.

It took me 20 tries before I finally won a game. Please understand, I do not waste my time playing trivial games. I played only while doing something else (maybe that's why it took me 20 tries).

An unexpected idea came to me as I was playing Flood-It! I think I was on game six. As I looked at the squares, and their relationship to the ones I had succeeded in changing the color, I thought about influence. The squares reminded me of the relationships I have and the lives that I touch. Beginning with those closest to me, I influence them, and they influence others, who in turn influence others. And so it goes, on and on.

Now to me, that is what relationships, leadership and influence is all about. My goal is to influence those around me to be creative, to have passion, to dream. More than that, I want to lead them into the Kingdom of God.

My desire to not only lead and influence, but to lead leaders and influence influencers.

Reunion, And Unexpected Connections

I am sitting in a Starbucks in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida awaiting my flight to return home after the 70's Youth Group Reunion that I have been attending over this past weekend. If you missed what the reunion was about, please see my last Blog post below.

The entire weekend was filled with unexpected conversations and unexpected connections: People I hadn't expected to see, changes in people's lives that I hadn't anticipated (all good), and seeing some people that I forgotten about after 33 years.

The first photo shows me with two men who were in middle school when I had the privelege to pour into them. They are now both successful husbands and fathers, who are seeking to serve the Lord as they live their out lives in their families, their jobs and in the world.

Being able to reconnect with my Youth Pastor, Mark Silkey, whom I hadn't talked to for five years was a treat. He is currently living in Oklahoma, and as he addressed the over 150 attendees, reminding us that we are all part of a body, each person having an important function, and as a group, a team, we were effective, and can continue to be effective in changing our world, I was taken back to the times he spoke before us when we were students.

Mark had an incredible effect on my life 30+ years ago, and some would have thought that I still idolized him to such a point that we both arrived at the Saturday afternoon picnic in khaki shorts and orange shirts (pictured). I promise, it wasn't planned!

I was invited to stay at the home of LC Campbell, who was one of the pastors at that church in the 70's. Not only was he instrumental in giving me a strong spiritual foundation as a high school student and young adult, but he invited me to plant a church with him in the early 1980's, and he continues to have a strong influence on my life. I knew his daughters when they were infants, ministered to them when they were middle school students, and now see them with their own children, seeking to raise them to be Godly.

The down times with LC, away from the public events of the Reunion weekend proved to be invaluable as we shared from personal and ministerial struggles, joys and victories, and inspired renewed vision in each other for the future. He will always remain my mentor and friend.

I was also privileged to spend focused time with a couple of the young men, Rick and Scott (pictured), who I had been able to influence in the past, to hear what was happening in their lives and how they were in turn reproducing themselves in the lives of others. Both are serving as pastors, one in California after having planted a church in London, and the other had returned to our hometown in Florida and had planted a church. Seeing what was going on in their lives was a great encouragement to me.

The greatest surprise for me came at the previously mentioned Saturday picnic. I was sitting at a table, reconnecting with some of my peers from the 70's, and I felt that I vaguely knew the lady sitting across from me. After introducing myself to her and hearing her name (again, I only vaguely remembered her), I returned to my other conversation. A minute later she interjected with, "I remember you. You sat with me in a room when I was in middle school and you led me to faith in Christ! Thank you." Needless to say, I was humbled. I literally had to excuse myself from the conversation while tears filled my eyes. I had forgotten, but she remembered.

Now that was an unexpected connection!

Reunion, And Lifelong Relationships

This weekend I will be traveling to South Florida to participate in a reunion of sorts. A few of the members of the youth group at the church I began attending when I was a junior in high school have put together a reunion for the once teenagers who attended during the ministry of Youth Pastor Mark Silkey.

Not only was I a senior in high school when Mark began his ministry, but for the next two years after I graduated, I oversaw the Middle School Ministry (of course under Mark's supervision and mentoring). I would say that Mark, and another Pastor at that church, L.C. Campbell, hold the position of being probably the most influential people in my life.

So I will be attending the reunion, having participated as a student under Mark's ministry, and leader there. (A few years later served with L.C. at a new church plant, where he continued to pour into my life - and still does.)

I have lost touch with most of the now 50+ attendees (I'm talking about the number of people, not age... although most of us are now 50+ years old). I have stayed in touch with some, including Mark, and L.C., and a few whom who I have mentored. These are the valuable relationships that I have clung to over the years, and although they are mostly maintained through phone and email, they remain a high priority in my life. Re-connecting in person will be a treat.

But I do have some mixed emotions about attending. First and foremost in my mind is how I will be remembered, and frankly I don't think I was all that fun to be around back then. I know I have changed and matured since then (I'm talking about character here), but will there be much grace offered to me?

The inevitable "Wow, you look different!" comments will be passed around, and hopefully most of us look different enough so as not to single anyone out. Then there's the "What have you done all these years?" and "What are you doing now?" questions that will circulate. I hope I will not seek to one-up others with pseudo-accomplishments and larger-than-truth-stories.

Finally, some emotional tremors are being felt because this reunion is causing me to evaluate my life and to look back, asking some hard questions. How many have I influenced to be a leaders in the Kingdom of God? Who can I look back to and say I poured my life into? (Like Mark and L.C. did for me.) Am I fulfilling my destiny?

And so I go to the youth group reunion. If needed, I will apologize for the way I was back then. When relating stories of my life, I will seek to be humble and truthful, giving glory to God for any accomplishments. I will listen to others stories intently, rather than interjecting my stories and making the conversation about me. Above all, I will seek to demonstrate the value of the life-long relationships that I have had the privilege of sharing in.