What Are You Aming At?

I heard someone once say that the best way to hit a bulls-eye is to shoot an arrow into a wall and then paint a target around it. Not very purposeful, but certainly accurate.

Many people go through their lives aimlessly, focusing on nothing in particular, and hitting it every time. They justify their actions by finding something purposeful in them, after the fact. Random actions, conversations and relationships, with certain random results.

Sure, sometimes they get lucky and do something with substance that matters. But most of the time their lives are about drifting wherever the current or wind takes them. When they look back over their lives, they are not able to see much substance, or anything of value that remains.

I was one of those random drifters, relying on my relationship with God and on the strength of my personality to get me by. But was there anything of substance that was left behind? Not much as far as I can see.

Now I seek to be a man of vision and purpose. Although I am not always on task, I am doing a lot better than I was several years ago. Now I want to have purpose in my life, to develop goals based on a God-given vision of my preferable future. I want to be involved in shaping my future, not having it shaped for me by circumstances. I want to be able to look back on my life, and realizing that I may not have hit the target every time, I still took careful aim for it.

So what are you aiming at?

Botox For Business

According to KGW.com, a Portland Oregon news station, "As the pressure to retain or land a new job increases, some job seekers are turning to a competitive-edge-in-a-needle, Botox."

Advocates report that looking younger boosts both first impressions and personal confidence in job interviews.

On June 5, Washington, DC-based aesthetics emporium Reveal offered a Botox Bailout — free Botox injections (a $300-500 value) for the first fifty people to show up with pink slip and resumé in hand. The party included headhunters who gave job-search tips and conducted interviews (ABCNews.go.com 6.5.09).

What does this mean? Beauty and grooming are making a slow shift from the indulgence category to competitive strategy. Crossing their t's and dotting their eye area with Botox assures Control Freaks they're putting their best face forward.

Most people would say that appearances don't matter, but when the chips are down, some consumers are placing their bets on pretty.

This weekend, our church is hosting an event featuring Employment Workshops, where job seekers can get resumé advice, interviewing tips, life coaching, and help with navigating job posting websites. Did we cover all the subjects or have we left out something that is staring us right in the face?

Advice if you need a job: Put on a clean outfit, update your resumé, cover your tats, and get a Botox injection!

The Best Time Of Day

I woke early this morning with an idea for a song I am recording, and after spending some time reading, I found myself in my studio recording a newly created guitar part. I didn't go to sleep last night planning on recording this morning. Rather, I woke up with a passion and creative energy that I seem to stumble upon in the mornings more often than I find within me at other times of the day.

What about you? When are you the most creative? What part of the day finds you dreaming, writing, singing and creating?

I suggest that if you don't know your optimum creative time, that you track your days and determine when you are at your productive and innovative best. This will help you schedule your imagination sessions and produce the best results.

What is my purpose in suggesting this? I believe that all of us, created in the image of the Creator, have been charged with contributing to this world, and especially to the lives of others. Our contributions, full of ideas, innovation and transformation demonstrate that we do carry the mark of the One who created us, and that we are part of the creative process of investing into the lives of others for their good and benefit.

Now to me that's good any time of the day!

Influencing Influencers

My oldest son Eric told me about an iPhone app called Flood-It! He knew I love a challenging game that would periodically stimulate my reasoning skills. Well, he was right! I have enjoyed the game.

The object is to change the color of the squares on the screen to all one color. This can only be achieved by beginning with the top left corner, choosing a color to change the squares that touch the square or squares you have changed. It must be completed in 22 moves or you lose the game.

It took me 20 tries before I finally won a game. Please understand, I do not waste my time playing trivial games. I played only while doing something else (maybe that's why it took me 20 tries).

An unexpected idea came to me as I was playing Flood-It! I think I was on game six. As I looked at the squares, and their relationship to the ones I had succeeded in changing the color, I thought about influence. The squares reminded me of the relationships I have and the lives that I touch. Beginning with those closest to me, I influence them, and they influence others, who in turn influence others. And so it goes, on and on.

Now to me, that is what relationships, leadership and influence is all about. My goal is to influence those around me to be creative, to have passion, to dream. More than that, I want to lead them into the Kingdom of God.

My desire to not only lead and influence, but to lead leaders and influence influencers.

Reunion, And Unexpected Connections

I am sitting in a Starbucks in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida awaiting my flight to return home after the 70's Youth Group Reunion that I have been attending over this past weekend. If you missed what the reunion was about, please see my last Blog post below.

The entire weekend was filled with unexpected conversations and unexpected connections: People I hadn't expected to see, changes in people's lives that I hadn't anticipated (all good), and seeing some people that I forgotten about after 33 years.

The first photo shows me with two men who were in middle school when I had the privelege to pour into them. They are now both successful husbands and fathers, who are seeking to serve the Lord as they live their out lives in their families, their jobs and in the world.

Being able to reconnect with my Youth Pastor, Mark Silkey, whom I hadn't talked to for five years was a treat. He is currently living in Oklahoma, and as he addressed the over 150 attendees, reminding us that we are all part of a body, each person having an important function, and as a group, a team, we were effective, and can continue to be effective in changing our world, I was taken back to the times he spoke before us when we were students.

Mark had an incredible effect on my life 30+ years ago, and some would have thought that I still idolized him to such a point that we both arrived at the Saturday afternoon picnic in khaki shorts and orange shirts (pictured). I promise, it wasn't planned!

I was invited to stay at the home of LC Campbell, who was one of the pastors at that church in the 70's. Not only was he instrumental in giving me a strong spiritual foundation as a high school student and young adult, but he invited me to plant a church with him in the early 1980's, and he continues to have a strong influence on my life. I knew his daughters when they were infants, ministered to them when they were middle school students, and now see them with their own children, seeking to raise them to be Godly.

The down times with LC, away from the public events of the Reunion weekend proved to be invaluable as we shared from personal and ministerial struggles, joys and victories, and inspired renewed vision in each other for the future. He will always remain my mentor and friend.

I was also privileged to spend focused time with a couple of the young men, Rick and Scott (pictured), who I had been able to influence in the past, to hear what was happening in their lives and how they were in turn reproducing themselves in the lives of others. Both are serving as pastors, one in California after having planted a church in London, and the other had returned to our hometown in Florida and had planted a church. Seeing what was going on in their lives was a great encouragement to me.

The greatest surprise for me came at the previously mentioned Saturday picnic. I was sitting at a table, reconnecting with some of my peers from the 70's, and I felt that I vaguely knew the lady sitting across from me. After introducing myself to her and hearing her name (again, I only vaguely remembered her), I returned to my other conversation. A minute later she interjected with, "I remember you. You sat with me in a room when I was in middle school and you led me to faith in Christ! Thank you." Needless to say, I was humbled. I literally had to excuse myself from the conversation while tears filled my eyes. I had forgotten, but she remembered.

Now that was an unexpected connection!

Reunion, And Lifelong Relationships

This weekend I will be traveling to South Florida to participate in a reunion of sorts. A few of the members of the youth group at the church I began attending when I was a junior in high school have put together a reunion for the once teenagers who attended during the ministry of Youth Pastor Mark Silkey.

Not only was I a senior in high school when Mark began his ministry, but for the next two years after I graduated, I oversaw the Middle School Ministry (of course under Mark's supervision and mentoring). I would say that Mark, and another Pastor at that church, L.C. Campbell, hold the position of being probably the most influential people in my life.

So I will be attending the reunion, having participated as a student under Mark's ministry, and leader there. (A few years later served with L.C. at a new church plant, where he continued to pour into my life - and still does.)

I have lost touch with most of the now 50+ attendees (I'm talking about the number of people, not age... although most of us are now 50+ years old). I have stayed in touch with some, including Mark, and L.C., and a few whom who I have mentored. These are the valuable relationships that I have clung to over the years, and although they are mostly maintained through phone and email, they remain a high priority in my life. Re-connecting in person will be a treat.

But I do have some mixed emotions about attending. First and foremost in my mind is how I will be remembered, and frankly I don't think I was all that fun to be around back then. I know I have changed and matured since then (I'm talking about character here), but will there be much grace offered to me?

The inevitable "Wow, you look different!" comments will be passed around, and hopefully most of us look different enough so as not to single anyone out. Then there's the "What have you done all these years?" and "What are you doing now?" questions that will circulate. I hope I will not seek to one-up others with pseudo-accomplishments and larger-than-truth-stories.

Finally, some emotional tremors are being felt because this reunion is causing me to evaluate my life and to look back, asking some hard questions. How many have I influenced to be a leaders in the Kingdom of God? Who can I look back to and say I poured my life into? (Like Mark and L.C. did for me.) Am I fulfilling my destiny?

And so I go to the youth group reunion. If needed, I will apologize for the way I was back then. When relating stories of my life, I will seek to be humble and truthful, giving glory to God for any accomplishments. I will listen to others stories intently, rather than interjecting my stories and making the conversation about me. Above all, I will seek to demonstrate the value of the life-long relationships that I have had the privilege of sharing in.

A Pretty Good Conversation

I don't know if I am becoming a Starbucks Snob, but I am finding that some of my best conversations are occurring over a cup of coffee, away from the office and away from the house. My work colleagues and I, my friends and I, my kids and I, even my wife and I seem to find the freedom to build community and go deeper in conversation when we're away from the familiar surroundings that "house" us for most of the hours in the day.

I guess Roy Oldenburg had me in mind when he argued for the Third Place in his book "The Great Good Place".

It really doesn't have to be the coffee or the Starbucks (although for me it seems to be there a lot - for convenience reasons, of course: there are a couple close to where I live and work; my daughter works at one, I have a Starbucks Gold Card, etc.). It really can be anyplace where we "get away". Sometimes the car becomes that place when I'm going somewhere with my kids or my wife. Sometimes it's at a restaurant. Sometimes it's as simple as a walk.

The key seems to be (for me anyway) that I am engaging in meaningful conversation in a neutral setting that lends itself to listening, creativity and trust.

And so I drink coffee with people. But more than that, I continue down the path of friendship, relationship and love, not knowing where that path will take me, but willing to take the risk of pressing forward, while I listen, share, and grow with those I am journeying with.

Metro Disaster And Ed McMahon

This past Monday, at the height of the afternoon rush-hour, my son called to tell me he was stuck on the Washington DC Metro, in a stopped train, hearing rumors that there was a train accident up ahead. I immediately got in my car to drive into the District to pick him up, and as I drove I began to hear news reports on the radio of a disastrous scene unfolding. (My son's train was only a few hundred yards from the accident, and heading in that direction.)

As of this writing, there have been nine fatalities and 76 injuries, two of them being critical. I looked for this information on several websites, but because the news cycle was right at 24 hours old, it was difficult to find. I did however find many stories on the passing of Ed McMahon, entertainer, long-time Johnny Carson sidekick and Publisher's Clearing House check distributor. (Ironically, I was able to find the information about the Metro disaster on the Los Angeles Times website.)

This morning as I was driving into work, I was listening to WTOP, an all-news station in the Washington, DC area and most of the news was about Ed McMahon, rather than about the Metro disaster. A great entertainer dies and the country mourns. Nine people die and... well you get my point.

Interestingly, the same thing happened in 1997 when Princess Dianna and Mother Teresa died within five days of each other. The news coverage for a woman who literally lived in a king's palace went on and on. At the same time, a humble servant who lived among the poorest of the poor in Calcutta, India got barely a mention.

Who will remember the names of the victims in a month, or even next week? Will the inconvenience of a subway line being shut down while the investigation continues move people to compassion or just to complain?

Hmmmm...

iPhone 3.0

The highly anticipated software update for the iPhone is to be launched today. If you are not an iPhone user, than this means nothing to you. Of course you can go purchase one and join the millions of iPhone owners, the third generation hardware arriving on June 19th.

My son waited in line for several hours when the first iPhones hit the stores a couple of years ago (he was 22nd in line). He and my wife bought me one for Christmas the next year, and I have to admit that I am looking forward to the cool new features that the 3.0 software update will offer.

Has my life improved with my iPhone? I would say that I am more productive, information is more easily accessible and I really like the "Old Phone" ringtone. I don't have a bunch of game apps installed, but I do text regularly to keep up with my kids. But could I do that with a lower-tech device?

Allow me to move wider in my thoughts on technology and go beyond the iPhone.

Here's a question: Do we need the neatest and the newest to accomplish what we need to get done. I am not simply talking about our jobs here. What about our "purpose", that which we have been created for and called to do? I know that many who may read this post are probably too inward-focused to consider a "life purpose" (outside of getting the neatest and newest technology for themselves).

I am not against new technology. (I have been checking all day to see if the update has been released yet. I have it now!) But to be true to myself, I need to make sure that I am using technology to satisfy my purpose, rather than using it to satisfy me.

That's my purpose 3.0.

It Rained This Morning

It rained this morning. I woke up at 5:30 to start my day with rain. Lightning, thunder, the usual suspects accompanying a rain storm. Our over-saturated ground (translation: I haven't mowed my already-long grass for over a week now because of days of relentless rain in our region) wasn't thirsty, but my wife will be happy because she planted flowers yesterday.

Traffic was a bear as I drove my daughter to school, and then to one of the local Starbucks for a meeting. A lot of horn-honking, a surplus of impatience, an excess of unwise driving decisions. In Washington, DC, tempers flare, tolerance fades, and religion gets tossed into the back seat when it storms during morning rush hour. (Actually, without the rain those actions are commonplace.)

And to what end? People will eventually make it to their offices and jobs. Sure, meetings will need to be rescheduled. Of course explanations will need to be provided to bosses. Hopefully, apologies will be offered to friends and family members who saw us at our not-so-best. (I'm pretty sure I did OK until my daughter got out of the car. I'll check with her.) The bottom line: Armageddon is not the eventual outcome of a Tuesday morning rain storm.

Oh yes, some positive observations: There were some who allowed others to pull in front of them. A few half-hearted waves to say "thank-you" were offered. Some drivers slowed down near large puddles bordering bus stops. More than half of the drivers had their headlights on (OK, a pet-peeve...sorry). I even saw a car stop to offer another driver in a stalled car some help.

A rainbow after the storm? A silver lining to the raincloud? My car's cockpit became a front-row seat to sometimes the best, but more often the worst of our culture. I got thirty-seven minutes to watch a story unfold where the actors were real-life characters, the setting was authentic, not a Hollywood studio lot, and the script was well... not scripted (though predictable). And now I am Blogging about it.

It rained this morning.

I Am The Receptionist

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Today I am the receptionist at my organization where I work. All of the ladies on our staff are having a half-day retreat away from the office, and I volunteered to cover the phones, on-site visitors and the other responsibilities that our receptionist does.

I am a proven multi-tasker, so I don't mind the juggling of multiple phone calls, visitors and requests. I normally have a pleasant speaking voice and a smile, and I try to be helpful in all of my encounters with people, so the customer service aspect of the job isn't a challenge. I guess it is the intangibles that are causing me to experience a bit of a learning curve.

Case in point: A woman called and asked to be connected with "Barbara". We don't have a Barbara on staff, and when I responded with an unsure voice (we could have hired a Barbara since I left the office yesterday), the caller realized she needed to give me more information. "She has a nice haircut," was her next statement. Hmmmm. Again I went blank. Then the caller described where Barbara sat in our worship services. Adding that information to the nice haircut clue, I deduced a name. "That's her!" the caller exclaimed. Whew!

Well that was a first for me (not the amateur detective work in locating a person's identity, but the nice haircut clue). And now if I am ever tasked with identifying a person having only the same small bit of information, I feel I will be able to identify a mystery person more readily.

Actually I doubt it.

Question: What experiences have you had that give you a new poerspective on what others do? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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