Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Happy Anniversary

This week my bride and I celebrate 35 years of marriage. I am a fortunate man, that my Creator set aside this wonderful woman as a gift for me.

Thirty-five years is a long time for anything. Longevity is a quality that is not-so-common in our culture. The years may not have been perfect, but they have been great.

Over these years, here are a few things that I have learned:
  • Being right is too overrated. If I can remove my pride and seek a solution or resolution over a 'win', then we both are right.
  • Listening is much more than hearing. So often I would hear my wife, but I wouldn't listen to what she was telling me.
  • Solving the problem is not as important as feeling the pain. Sure a solution may be necessary at some point, but understanding and empathizing with my wife is what she may need right then.
  • Allowing my wife to take care of me is one of her greatest desires. Being an I've got it covered, I'll take care of it type of person robs my wife of the joy of meeting my needs and helping me succeed.
  • Being a team is our destiny together. When we sing together, the harmony created is beautiful. When we live and serve together, the harmony is glorious!
Five years ago I wrote the following post on this Blog. Today I feel the same way, only more. Allow me to share it again as a conclusion.

Milestones. Landmarks. Waypoints. These are all significant events in our lives that not only separate our lives into periods, but also act as defining moments for us. We celebrate birthdays, rites of passage (first kiss, driver's license) and achievements. We can remember our high school graduations and our first dates. If we are married, we can remember our wedding day.

When we are younger, milestones act more as separations in our lives. They let ourselves and others see us as "before" and "after". We reference milestones as points of change.

Thirty years ago today, I took Elaine Odom as my wife. I remember beginning to cry as she appeared in the doorway, escorted by her brother, waiting to come down the aisle where I stood. I remember how she smiled when we held each other’s hands and recited our vows. I remember our kiss, her first as my bride.

Thirty years ago today, I reached a milestone in my life. I got married. Today is another milestone, as Elaine and I celebrate thirty years of marriage. My life is not so much separated by this day as it is defined by it.

Question: What are some things you have learned in your marriage? Share your thoughts below in comments.

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